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The Lost Art of Listening : How Learning to Listen Can Improve Relationships

By: Nichols, Michael P.
Material type: TextTextSeries: eBooks on Demand.Publisher: New York : Guilford Publications, 2014Edition: 2nd ed.Description: 1 online resource (321 p.).ISBN: 9781606230978.Subject(s): Electronic books. -- local | Interpersonal communication | Interpersonal relations | ListeningGenre/Form: Electronic books.Additional physical formats: Print version:: The Lost Art of Listening : How Learning to Listen Can Improve RelationshipsDDC classification: 158.2 Online resources: Click here to view this ebook.
Contents:
Cover -- Contents -- Introduction -- Part One …The Yearningto Be Understood -- Chapter 1 "Did You Hear What I Said?" Why Listening Is So Important -- Chapter 2 "Thanks for Listening" How Listening Shapes Us and Connects Us to Each Other -- Chapter 3 "Why Don't People Listen?" How Communication Breaks Down -- Part Two …The Real Reasons People Don't Listen -- Chapter 4 "When Is It My Turn?" The Heart of Listening: The Struggle to Suspend Our Own Needs -- Chapter 5 "You Hear Only What You Want to Hear" How Hidden Assumptions Prejudice Listening
Chapter 6 "Why Do You Always Overreact?!" How Emotionality Makes Us Defensive -- Part Three …Getting Through to Each Other -- Chapter 7 "Take Your Time- I'm Listening" How to Let Go of Your Own Needs and Listen -- Chapter 8 "I Never Knew You Felt That Way" Empathy Begins with Openness -- Chapter 9 "I Can See This Is Really Upsetting You" How to Defuse Emotional Reactivity -- Part Four …Listening in Context -- Chapter 10 "We Never Talk Anymore" Listening Between Intimate Partners -- Chapter 11 "Nobody around Here Ever Listens to Me!" How to Listen and Be Heard within the Family
Chapter 12 From "Do I Have To?" to "That's Not Fair!" Listening to Children and Teenagers -- Chapter 13 "I Knew You'd Understand" Being Able to Hear Friends and Colleagues -- Epilogue -- Index -- About the Author
Summary: One person talks; the other listens. It's so basic that we take it for granted. Unfortunately, most of us think of ourselves as better listeners than we actually are. Why do we so often fail to connect when speaking with family members, romantic partners, colleagues, or friends? How do emotional reactions get in the way of real communication? This thoughtful, witty, and empathic book has already helped over 125,000 readers break through conflicts and transform their personal and professional relationships. Experienced therapist Mike Nichols provides vivid examples, easy-to-learn techniques, an
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Electronic Book UT Tyler Online
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BF323.L5 -- N53 2009eb (Browse shelf) http://uttyler.eblib.com/patron/FullRecord.aspx?p=418833 Available EBL418833

Cover -- Contents -- Introduction -- Part One …The Yearningto Be Understood -- Chapter 1 "Did You Hear What I Said?" Why Listening Is So Important -- Chapter 2 "Thanks for Listening" How Listening Shapes Us and Connects Us to Each Other -- Chapter 3 "Why Don't People Listen?" How Communication Breaks Down -- Part Two …The Real Reasons People Don't Listen -- Chapter 4 "When Is It My Turn?" The Heart of Listening: The Struggle to Suspend Our Own Needs -- Chapter 5 "You Hear Only What You Want to Hear" How Hidden Assumptions Prejudice Listening

Chapter 6 "Why Do You Always Overreact?!" How Emotionality Makes Us Defensive -- Part Three …Getting Through to Each Other -- Chapter 7 "Take Your Time- I'm Listening" How to Let Go of Your Own Needs and Listen -- Chapter 8 "I Never Knew You Felt That Way" Empathy Begins with Openness -- Chapter 9 "I Can See This Is Really Upsetting You" How to Defuse Emotional Reactivity -- Part Four …Listening in Context -- Chapter 10 "We Never Talk Anymore" Listening Between Intimate Partners -- Chapter 11 "Nobody around Here Ever Listens to Me!" How to Listen and Be Heard within the Family

Chapter 12 From "Do I Have To?" to "That's Not Fair!" Listening to Children and Teenagers -- Chapter 13 "I Knew You'd Understand" Being Able to Hear Friends and Colleagues -- Epilogue -- Index -- About the Author

One person talks; the other listens. It's so basic that we take it for granted. Unfortunately, most of us think of ourselves as better listeners than we actually are. Why do we so often fail to connect when speaking with family members, romantic partners, colleagues, or friends? How do emotional reactions get in the way of real communication? This thoughtful, witty, and empathic book has already helped over 125,000 readers break through conflicts and transform their personal and professional relationships. Experienced therapist Mike Nichols provides vivid examples, easy-to-learn techniques, an

Description based upon print version of record.

Reviews provided by Syndetics

CHOICE Review

Nichols examines the importance of listening and the covert assumptions, emotional defensiveness, and unconscious needs that inhibit good listening. He suggests ways to break through to others when listening has broken down and to control emotional reactions so that we may be better heard. He argues that the essence of good listening is empathy, achieved by suspending preoccupation with self to enter the experience of others. Practical suggestions are offered for handling interruptions, moving beyond assumptions, and defusing anger. A tendency to stereotype jobs and gender roles is distracting: men complain about not being appreciated at work, women about being overwhelmed taking care of house and children; women apply for jobs, men hire them; women are "Indians," their bosses "Chiefs"; and in describing the pretense of listening, Nichols takes an unwarranted shot at "state funded bureaucrats on autopilot." Written in a readable, clear style, the topic of listening is covered extensively. An index or bibliography would have been helpful to those interested in further research. Recommended for undergraduates, professionals in counseling, and the general public. A. L. Deming; Trinity College (DC)

Author notes provided by Syndetics

Michael P. Nichols, PhD, Professor of Psychology at the College of William and Mary, is the author of Stop Arguing with Your Kids , among numerous other books. He is a well-known therapist and a popular speaker. <br>

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